Miserable on a Friday

All things considered I am doing alright, but I sure feel miserable. I have been having really strong contractions, cramping and vomiting all day.  I called the nurse at my doctor’s office because I was unable to keep anything down all day, and of course what did they say? “Go in to the hospital and get checked” So I did  like I was told and they sent me home with an anti nausea pill.

I appreciate the anti nausea pills because I am tired of throwing up and I need to be all rested for Sunday. I was sitting in the hospital room and the nurse comes in to tell me that she ordered my pill, it just so happened that I asked her what kind she ordered and it was one of the one’s that I am allergic to. Nice…… Do they even look at the chart? Sometimes I wonder what the point in having bright red notices that say allergic to on them.

So now I am sitting in my bed eating what seems like everything in site because I am starving. I’m trying to relax and just get some rest, but that seems almost impossible some days. I have so many things that need to be done.

Such as

  • Put the laundry away
  • Dishes
  • Vacuum
  • Finish organizing the nursery
  • Just clean up in general
  • Mop the kitchen

There are just so many random things that I would like to accomplish before Sunday and I have to go to the hospital that I am not sure where to start. So for the moment I am sitting in my bed watching “Super Troopers” in my pajamas stuffing my face. I almost feel guilty, (like I said almost but not quite)

I am afraid that I am going to get up and do all of the things on my to do list and I am going to be warn out before I have to deliver on Sunday, and my body is going to stall out of who knows what. I am just paranoid.  I think that on some level I am just scared of the induction process.  The contractions are so much more sudden, strong, and intense than a natural labor, according to what I have heard and read on the internet. I was induced with the other kids so I don’t even know what a natural “normal” labor is even like. It is not like I haven’t been here before, so I know what I should be expecting I think it is just the fear of the pain. Who knows since every baby, and labor is so different.

Induction Date Sunday March 23,2008

So I am having this baby on Sunday! Finally…. I went to the Doctor on Wednesday and I am dilated and effaced enough to induce. I am so excited!!!!! The main reason that we are inducing (other than I am miserable) is because I am showing signs of preeclampsia. The sudden severe swelling, migraines, raising blood pressure, loss of hearing and vision. It’s horrible, and it is painful to say the least because of the swelling.

So Sunday March 23rd, 2008, at 8 am I am going to be going to the hospital and being induced. I hope that all goes well, and I don’t have to have a c-section or anything like that. I was induced with my son and I almost had to have a c- section and I was so scared and delivered normally on the operating table. So I am a little nervous about the whole thing, but it is an excited nervous.

I know that my husband is quite nervous as well. But I think that is because he has been having dreams that I have died or there is something that has happened to the baby during delivery. I must admit I too have had these kinds of dreams but as far as I have heard they are normal. (I hope that they are)

So the day after I have the baby I am going into surgery to have my tubes tied. I have to go under with general anesthesia less than 24 hours after I have the baby. I don’t really know how to deal with that yet. I don’t think that anything is going to go bad because I trust the Doctors and Anesthesiologists to perform everything correctly, but there is always that chance. So that is a little nerve racking, but here’s hoping.

Storage units

I have absolutely too much crap stuff for our little place. We need to get a storage unit but they are so expensive!! I can’t believe it.  $45.00 for a  5 x 10 unit? Wow maybe I am just out of touch with the prices of things like that but wow.

I just want to get out the boxes of things that we are not using or do not have room for that we still want or need etc. It is just frustrating because I am supposed to be having this baby soon (like now) and I don’t have the room to get everything the way that I want it in my home. I suffer from clutter-itis. I never realized how many things that we had until I started putting other things in here for the impending baby.

I think that I am going to get one though just to make my life easier even if it is temporary.  I wonder how much those totes are so that I can get the things in boxes more secure and safe.

Oh well I guess more research is needed.

Alex, Autism and preschool

As most of you know I have an autistic son, and I recently got him in to a preschool. Very exciting. Basically where I was going with this is that I think he is doing so much better with his speech just after two weeks of school. I am amazed, they are doing such an incredible job over there. He is attending Keizer Elementary where we live, and only goes two days per week but the  difference in his talking is undeniable.

I had to fight with his doctors for just under 2 years to get him evaluated, and into a program to help him. I have a real problem with the length of time it took for his doctor to realize that I was not just some wack job and actually knew what I was talking about.  The rise in diagnosed children with Autism is on the rise for some reason in the last decade and it is alittle scary. For the longest time I blamed myself for his disability. Most of that I am sure is just guilt.

There are so many different things associated with having a child with this disorder that it is really easy to get caught up in the myths and different supposed causes, such as genetics and vaccinations. There has been no link to the vaccinations that our children receive (other than it is a required vaccine that ALL children get not just the ones that end up with autism) so I personally do not believe that could be it. But the genetics arguement is one that I am trying to understand more about because I have a brother that is moderate to severely Autistic. So I have often wondered if I should have had children knowing that I have a family history of it. (Hence the guilt) But then someone could argue that you should not have children if alcoholism runs in the family because future generations will also be prone to it.

Very confusing.

I just wish that there were more options for parents like me in my area. It is something that I will struggle with for the rest of my life probably because I at this point do not know if my son will ever be able to be a functioning adult on his own. I know that it is way too early to try and discern because he is only 3 but it is still something that I think about almost daily. It is down right depressing at times, to the point of I am unsure if I should have had other children for fear that I will be unable to devote all of the attention that I need to him. Also I have learned that it can put an enormous strain on a marriage. I think that it is really hard on my husband (and myself) that he is disabled and cannot always control his actions, demands more attention than his sister, and that he is not always the most friendly child to be around. It is so stressfull.

My list of the most stressful things at the moment……

  • The attitude
  • Not eating
  • His anger/violence towards everyone and everything
  • Not knowing how to discipline him appropriately
  • Object fascination (right now it is spoons, knives and swords)
  • Not being able to do the things that I want to do with him, or take him the places that I want him to see
  • Lack of communication with him

And there are many others that I just don’t feel like listing.

I am just a a loss of what to do at the moment. If there is someone out there that has some advice I would surely love to hear it. Anything helps or anything that helped you through would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!!!