SKFoxy

I have been really torn about what I want to do with my life. I know that raising a family is important but it is just not completely satisfying for me. Don’t get me wrong I love my children and my husband and definately enjoy spending as much time with them as I possibly can. But I always feel that I need something that I can do for me. I don’t however mean like going to the spa or being alone for any length of time, I mean more like a career. Something that I am good at. I think that I want to be a photographer. I took some photo’s while we were out at the pond last night. Here they are and let me know what you think. I really really want your opinions.

I am really in to it. Wow but I was checking out prices of good cameras and they are super spendy. Oh well I suppose that I can use my father in law’s till I can afford to get one of my own. (If ) I can afford to get one of my own that is.

My husband and I were talking about firefox 3 today. I think that it is really neat. I have yet to download it on to my laptop but I think that I will be soon. Shaun said that the Mozilla servers crashed about 5 min to 10am this morning because so many people are downloading the new version. I must say that I love Firefox over Internet Explorer. Firefox just seems so much safer to me. Here is a screen shot of how many people have downloaded the new version right now.

That is how many people had downloaded at the moment since this morning from all over the world. That number is going up by atleast a hundred every couple of seconds.

This is how many people in the United States have uploaded so far to this point.

That is alot, basically that means that we as a country have done at least 1/3 of the downloads. Kinda neat.

So I am having this baby on Sunday! Finally…. I went to the Doctor on Wednesday and I am dilated and effaced enough to induce. I am so excited!!!!! The main reason that we are inducing (other than I am miserable) is because I am showing signs of preeclampsia. The sudden severe swelling, migraines, raising blood pressure, loss of hearing and vision. It’s horrible, and it is painful to say the least because of the swelling.

So Sunday March 23rd, 2008, at 8 am I am going to be going to the hospital and being induced. I hope that all goes well, and I don’t have to have a c-section or anything like that. I was induced with my son and I almost had to have a c- section and I was so scared and delivered normally on the operating table. So I am a little nervous about the whole thing, but it is an excited nervous.

I know that my husband is quite nervous as well. But I think that is because he has been having dreams that I have died or there is something that has happened to the baby during delivery. I must admit I too have had these kinds of dreams but as far as I have heard they are normal. (I hope that they are)

So the day after I have the baby I am going into surgery to have my tubes tied. I have to go under with general anesthesia less than 24 hours after I have the baby. I don’t really know how to deal with that yet. I don’t think that anything is going to go bad because I trust the Doctors and Anesthesiologists to perform everything correctly, but there is always that chance. So that is a little nerve racking, but here’s hoping.

I just realized that I have not posted anything in a while. I just have felt like crap, this pregnancy is taking it’s toll on me physically and mentally.

Physically I just feel so run down, to the point of all I want to do is sleep the days away. I feel like I could sleep all day and all night and then some. I am not sure if it is just that I am due in a couple of weeks or maybe I am just getting rundown. I wish that I could just feel great and be about to have a baby. But I think that is just too much to ask some days.

Mentally I am crying all of the time, having nightmares, I can barely watch a movie with out bursting into tears for some reason. Like for example the movie “Knocked Up” I heard that it was really funny and cute etc. But the only thing that I could think was omg how scary! Watching her go into labor, be alone, break up with her baby daddy, it totally freaked me out. I kept my hubby up all night talking about my insecurities and fears all that good stuff. The next night we tried to watch “Shootem’ Up” because my husband likes all of the different guns etc and my mom said it was a good movie. Lets just say that we made it about 20 min into it and it was a big big mistake at least for me.

I have a Dr. appt tomorrow and I am kind of excited. (My Dr. office called and formally apologized for the Dr that told me to get fixed, and they told me that I didn’t have to see him again.) I am going weekly now to monitor everything. Last Wednesday when I went I was told that I am dilated to about 2 cm. I know what that means!!! Not too much longer. Yay!! I am so excited to see her and hold her in my arms instead of my belly. Don’t get me wrong I am nervous about having another baby to take care of, but I am still really excited.

Well I am still having really bad contractions so I think I am going to go and soak in the tub then hopefully fall asleep for a bit. Have a good one.

My husband thought that he would look up buying some diapers in bulk for the new baby. So that we were not always at the store. He went to several different sites and then ended up at Amazon.com. I am glad that he took a screen shot of it, so here is the ad.

You should take a look. I think that he is discouraged now about buying things like that online and in bulk.