World in Chaos

I have been watching the news for a very long time and I am very up-to-date on the affairs of the world. I am very sad to see the state of some of these countries.

I almost as an American cannot fathom what is going on with some of these international civil wars. Seeing some of the autocities that are going on overseas its hard to complain about anything going on here.

Things people complain about here are things such as,

  • The president not being an American -get over it already, I mean, we survived 8 years with Bush you will survive the last of Obama’s term.
  • Gun Rights – This is something that I am passionate about, I don’t think that the government is going to take away our guns or our gun rights so its time for people to move on. If you don’t like having to have a background check to buy a gun, then you probably don’t need one. I love and appreciate having our 2nd ammendment rights. We aren’t going to lose them.
  • Military Funding – yes we need to fund our military, simple as that. Lose the military, lose our rights. Lets not have to live thru the movie of Red Dawn.
  • Obamacare – woah, hey now, lets leave the millions of Americans uninsured because it makes some of the Tea-Party mad. Get over yourselves. Now I do think that there are things to be tweaked and fixed but fundamentally its a good idea.
  • Gay Marriage – Seriously? Why are we fighting about this? It is so stupid. Who CARES!!!! If you think that two people getting married is going to negatively affect you to the point that you think it should be banned? Maybe you are the problem, not them.

Here are things that the people across the world are complaining about and fighting for

  • Food
  • Access to the internet and information
  • Freedom of speech
  • Freedom to life
  • The ability to ELECT their government
  • Housing
  • Jobs that pay more than $5-10 a week

They are fighting for things that we take for granted. I know that our country isn’t perfect but there seems to be a serious disconnect between what we have and take for granted vrs what we really need and fundamentally deserve as human beings.

10 Truths I have learned about Family and Kids

I was driving home from picking up my daughter yesterday and I was thinking about my next blog post. I was sitting waiting for the light to turn green listening to a friend be upset about her life. While listening I realized that there are 10 truths that I have learned in my life that always seem to be true.

1) Kids will be kids.

You can get mad at them for being kids but that only punishes you. Kids yell, make messes, don’t listen and can just be straight-up obtuse.  Yelling at your kids only makes you feel bad later. Try talking to your kids on their level. Not all kids respond to just talking, however for the most part they are just trying to get your attention for something. Positive or negative they will get the attention that they need. You however get to decide how you are going to deal with it.

2) Family First

Friends are awesome, and I don’t know where I would be in this life without them. That being said I have to say that my husband and kids come first. I know that it has been hard for some of my friends to accept because I am not able to go and do the things that I used to. Doesn’t mean that I don’t love and care about them like I used to. People grow up, or they are supposed to anyway.

3) Kids are expensive!!

Kids are so darned expensive. New clothes, because they hit a growth spurt, after school activities, and everything else that they need on a daily basis. My kids are currently doing Karate (doing very well at it, enjoying it, and I love every min of it as do they) I am a mother to an Orange Belt as well as a brand new littlest White Belt.  Alex’s first Tournament is in Feb. STOKED!! Okay I digressed, but they are awesome and expensive little critters.

4) Everyone needs something.

Everyone needs something that makes them happy in their lives. Even if it seems trivial, everyone needs something that makes them feel complete and like an individual. For me, its working out, and getting to watch General Hospital while the kids are at school. (I know its small and seems stupid probably, but it’s great for me) My husband has his daily trips to 7/11 (Since he works from home, its the only time he gets out of the house)

5) Make time for your partner/spouse

You don’t have spend every waking moment together, but you should try to make some time for eachother. Even if it is just watching a show or movie together at least 3 times a week cuddling on the couch. I think that having a date night is important for parents and couples as well but lets face it. Not everyone can get out once a week or even once a month. (I know that we can’t) There are things that we can do to keep things going at home. Spending some quiet time together after the kids go to bed, cuddling, sex of course. However, if you want it to work, take time to at least say I love you.

6) People change after kids

So many people wonder why parents can’t just jump on a plane and go away like they used to. Others think their kidless friends are suddenly assholes and stop working on those relationships. Take the time to make a phone call, write an email, even poke them on facebook if needed. Just let them know that you are still there and want to be friends. There is always an adjustment period, after kids, after a break-up, after getting married, just about everything requires an adjustment of some sort. Be Patient with your family and friends. No one knows what you are going thru unless you tell them.

7) Be informed

I can’t stress how important being informed is. Be informed about how your kids are doing in school, how your spouse is doing at work, what is going on in the lives of your loved ones. I wish people would be more informed about things in general, but if you can’t manage to be caught up on world affairs then at the very least know what’s going on in your own home. So many things can be prevented if you just know what is going on with the people that you love.

8) Family doesn’t have to be blood

I have learned the hard way that sometimes your family won’t be blood related to you, blood does not create some bond that cannot be broken. Trust does. If you have people in your life that are toxic get rid of them in your life. You don’t need that. No one does, its not easy, feelings will get hurt. But wouldn’t you rather live a happy and fulfilled life with out that one person that always makes you feel so toxic that you could throw up?

9) Let it go……

You have to let go of your ego. Not everyone is perfect. I know that I am not. I know that I will never be perfect, but I can be a better version of me than I was yesterday. I recognize that people say and do dumb things when they are angry, frustrated, scared, or just plain upset with life. Most of the time its not about you or even what you’re actually talking about. There is something else. So when someone says something insensitive to you and you’re upset. Let some of that go. Anger and resentment, doesn’t hurt the other person. It only hurts you. Sometimes you can’t change their attitude, or their point of view but you can change how you react to it.

10) Pick your battles

If it is something that you are really passionate about then, feel free to argue your point to your hearts content, but if in the grand scheme it is something that isn’t that big of a deal, then I would say just let it go for now. Make sure that when you are calm and can rationally talk about what hurt your feelings or made you so upset then do it then. Just remember, “Never go to bed mad” you never know if tomorrow will come.

Blogs blogs blogs

I am starting to work on another blog for the kids school and our box-top ventures!! Its kind of exciting but also kind of well, irritating to get started.  I love my blog and blogging but making another one is proving difficult. I have had this one for such a long time and only have to make minor tweaks now and again. Starting from scratch is kind of a pain.

Things to think about…..

So as I sit here this morning, I have a lot of things weighing heavily on my mind.

My youngest child is having some pretty severe anxiety issues. She has wet her pants once in school and once this morning on the couch. I feel really for her. I think that she is super stressed with school, and her sister going back to stay with her mom. She stayed with us for the summer, and then she went to her moms house for the school year. She comes to visit every other weekend and we see her during the week but it has been really hard for little Miss Brinley. She is so sensitive to Caitlin coming and going. Then skipping a grade and being behind quite a bit and trying to catch up with everything. I think that its harder for me than her almost. Not to diminish what she is going thru because it is really hard on her. I just want her to be okay. I feel like I am sitting here worrying about if she is going to be okay emotionally, and oh so many other scenarios that are playing over in my head. I am so sad for her. She also has anxiety medications but they put her to sleep. I am at kind of a loss because I don’t want her to fall asleep in class so I cut one into a 1/4 and tried that this morning to see if that helps her in school today. I just want her to succeed so bad. I don’t care what she does I just want her to succeed at it.

My oldest is having some emotional distress issues regarding to his ASD and we are going to counselling appointments. Things are crazy. His medications are being changed and he I hope will be on a better path do manage his anger and frustration. So that Brinley and Alex can have as good of a relationship as siblings as Brinley and Caitlin. Alex wants to be close to his sisters and Brinley wants to be close to her brother, but I feel like until we get Alex’s emotions a little more under control.

I am just so sad for my children because I want them to be happy and successful in life. I feel like I don’t quite know how to help them completely. I am doing everything that I can, physically, and emotionally to help them as much as possible.

ARRGG!!

Why can’t this be simpler? I want to make sure that she is happy and healthy. Sending her back to Kinder is an option but how do I do that without hurting her even more? I don’t know what to do. I feel kinda sick about the entire thing. She knows that she is a 1st grader and then to take that away from her seems cruel. But is leaving her in 1st grade where she isn’t doing very well (because of anxiety) just as bad? I am afraid that we will have the same issues next year as well, just because she is such a mama’s girl. I think some of it may also be just separation anxiety I know that I am feeling it and I can tell that she is too.

Baby Teeth and the infamous cold that sticks around forever…

I have noticed that my youngest daughter is getting 7 teeth in all at once. Why do they have to hurt so bad? I just feel awful for her, four of them are her 2 year molars as well as her 3 of her incisors. One of the incisors has already come through but the other 7 are playing a painful game of peek a boo with her.

I don’t think that I would feel so badly for her except that it is virtually impossible to get medicine down this child. She vomits when you even come near her with the medicine, even baby Tylenol and Orajel. The last couple of nights have been almost pure hell because she is in pain and can’t sleep. Last night my poor husband and I were up until almost 4 am with her, taking turns holding and cuddling her. If you know my daughter you would know that she is probably one of the most anti-cuddling children that I have ever met. She is so independent and wants so badly to be grown. (Or at least bigger than she is) So yesterday we knew that it was getting pretty bad and she had to be absolutely miserable when she was sitting on my husbands lap and she fell asleep. We tried to put her in bed but she wasn’t having that so I took my turn to hold her and she fell asleep on me for a very short while. I think that I can recall the last time that happened and it was when she was in the hospital for several days, almost a year ago.

Poor baby.

Then to top it off our oldest child is very sick as well. The only upside to having Alex sick is that he can tell me what is wrong, where it hurts and if what I am doing is making a difference where as the baby cannot. So he I believe is coming down with a sinus infection because when I pressed on his sinuses he complained of pain. In addition to that he has congestion in his chest, a cough as well as a mild fever. So he is miserable as well but at least he will take his medicine with out too much of a complaint as long as he has something to wash it down. (preferably Apple Juice 🙂

I get so frustrated when my children are sick because I feel so helpless to fix what ails them. I am sure that most parents feel this way wishing that we had a magic wand that would make it all go away. Even if I had to deal with what they are going  through instead of them. Just something.  I am afraid that I am going to get what Alex has because when he is sick all he wants to do is sit with me and cuddle or hang all over me. I am not complaining about it I just wish that I wasn’t going to get it. It just seems like the kids get sick then me and lastly my husband, but then the kids get it again and the cycle just keeps on going. I feel like I am going to go crazy sometimes when we just pass an illness around and around and around, over and over again.

It is just hard sometimes because if the kids are sick even with a runny nose you are not supposed to send them to school which is fine for us because I am a stay at home parent. But then since some of the laws have changed in Oregon if your child misses more than one or two days of school ( I believe it could be more days than that) and you don’t bring in a Dr.’s note then they can call Child Services on you. I understand the purpose of the law but who takes their child to a Dr. every single time that they catch cold? I just feel that if your kid is sick then you have the right and responsibility to keep them home and seek medical attention if it gets worse, but for a stuffy nose and a light cough seems a bit over board. So what do you do? It feels like it is a catch 22, damned if you do but damned if you don’t.

Well the baby is quiet for the moment and Alex is I believe watching a movie in his room so this seems like the perfect opportunity for a little mommy time, so I am going to be headed for the shower and bed. I hope that you have a wonderful night and a great day tomorrow.