Things to think about…..

So as I sit here this morning, I have a lot of things weighing heavily on my mind.

My youngest child is having some pretty severe anxiety issues. She has wet her pants once in school and once this morning on the couch. I feel really for her. I think that she is super stressed with school, and her sister going back to stay with her mom. She stayed with us for the summer, and then she went to her moms house for the school year. She comes to visit every other weekend and we see her during the week but it has been really hard for little Miss Brinley. She is so sensitive to Caitlin coming and going. Then skipping a grade and being behind quite a bit and trying to catch up with everything. I think that its harder for me than her almost. Not to diminish what she is going thru because it is really hard on her. I just want her to be okay. I feel like I am sitting here worrying about if she is going to be okay emotionally, and oh so many other scenarios that are playing over in my head. I am so sad for her. She also has anxiety medications but they put her to sleep. I am at kind of a loss because I don’t want her to fall asleep in class so I cut one into a 1/4 and tried that this morning to see if that helps her in school today. I just want her to succeed so bad. I don’t care what she does I just want her to succeed at it.

My oldest is having some emotional distress issues regarding to his ASD and we are going to counselling appointments. Things are crazy. His medications are being changed and he I hope will be on a better path do manage his anger and frustration. So that Brinley and Alex can have as good of a relationship as siblings as Brinley and Caitlin. Alex wants to be close to his sisters and Brinley wants to be close to her brother, but I feel like until we get Alex’s emotions a little more under control.

I am just so sad for my children because I want them to be happy and successful in life. I feel like I don’t quite know how to help them completely. I am doing everything that I can, physically, and emotionally to help them as much as possible.


Why can’t this be simpler? I want to make sure that she is happy and healthy. Sending her back to Kinder is an option but how do I do that without hurting her even more? I don’t know what to do. I feel kinda sick about the entire thing. She knows that she is a 1st grader and then to take that away from her seems cruel. But is leaving her in 1st grade where she isn’t doing very well (because of anxiety) just as bad? I am afraid that we will have the same issues next year as well, just because she is such a mama’s girl. I think some of it may also be just separation anxiety I know that I am feeling it and I can tell that she is too.

Loose teeth!

I ment to upload these pics from the other day. But Brinley lost her first teeth the other day. Well September 10th to be precise. We were sitting and watching a movie when she said “Mom my teeth feel funny when I touch them with my tongue, see?” Well as she went to show me both bottom teeth fell out and she started freaking out because there was a little bit of blood.

Thankfully Alex was sitting there with me and he bailed to go get some paper towels for her to chomp down on. It didn’t take long and she was feeling much better going up to tell dad allllll about it. She was quite put out over the whole situation.

Suddenly tho she remembered about the Tooth Fairy. That helped for sure. She has two other loose teeth as well. The top two are going to go at anytime. Poor kids isn’t going to have any teeth. Oh well, its part of being 5 and a rite of passage. 🙂



1st Grade Dramas

So I am definitely an informed parent, I want to know everything about what is going on in her class. However I must admit that it’s a little troubling when you get an email from the teacher asking you to come in after school to discuss how her first week went. I am sure that all is well and its just some things that we need to work on for her to be successful considering that she skipped kindergarten. It is just scary for me as a parent because I want so badly for her to do well.

It’s just petrifying to get an email like that because I don’t know what I should be worried about. Is it her performance? Her attention? I don’t know its just a strange feeling. I feel like I am being called to the principals office and I am pretty scared to be quite honest. Not really sure how to handle this conversation with the teacher. I know that it will be alright and that the teacher knows that I just want to be updated about how she is doing. But its the feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Does the teacher want to tell me that she is too young, or that she doesn’t want her in her class? ARG. I am just worried and most likely over worried about nothing. Which I am sure I have said already.

This is going to be okay I keep telling myself. Its going to be okay. She is a smart girl and this was the right move for her. I know that, she knows that, I am just stressing over nothing. I hope……………

Life is Changing, but its good.

Well this is a new school year.

My oldest is just starting 3rd grade. He is having a great time so far. Its just been just 8 days of school so far. All of the days have been great. I know that I haven’t mentioned it a lot but my oldest is Autistic, and he is in a special program at a great school. He is going to be really successful this year I hope. Not that he hasn’t been successful in the past but I have really high hopes for this year. He is now meeting with a councilor and someone to help regulate his medications better.


His teacher is great. She is so patient and kind. Alex loves her already, and they are having a grand ol’ time. Here is a pic of his first day of 3rd grade.


Then there is Caitlin she is growing up so fast. She just turned 7. I can’t believe that she is 7!!!!. Its insane. She is almost as big as I am. She is a few inches taller than her older brother. My big 2nd grader. She is into so many things that I feel like she is growing around me. Time used to feel like it moved so slow and now it just seems to fly by. She is so smart. Sometimes I think she acts like she is less intelligent than she is because she is afraid to be so smart. It worries me. But I am sure that all of these issues will work themselves out with age. 🙂


Caitlin’s First day of 2nd grade.


Oh wow, Brinley. I don’t even know where to start.

She was supposed to start, kindergarten on the 10th of this month. However after her practice day of Kinder last week it was decided that we would move her up to 1st grade. So Brinley literally completed one day of kinder. Its kinda funny actually. At least she can say she tried it. Here are the pics of her first and only day of kindergarten. 🙂


So she started 1st grade yesterday. I can’t believe it. I feel like an empty nester. I think its because when Alex started school we had Caitlin and Brinley. Then Caitlin started and it was Brinley being home with me all day. Once she started Preschool it was nice to have a break for a couple of hours. That was life for 2 years of preschool. We had a schedule, a routine and a way of life going. We hung out and cuddled in the mornings and then she went to school in the afternoon when I went to run errands and got things done around the house. My life feels like it is upside-down at the moment. Learning how to adjust just like they are. Don’t get me wrong I am so happy that they are all in school full time. Its what they need and it is soooo good for all of them.

Here is Brinley arriving at her school and meeting her teacher for the first time. She was so happy and Mrs. J is great. She will have some things to work on being so young and in first grade such as her handwriting and things like that but I am so excited I will be able to help her with these things. (Kid’s a math whiz anyways lol)



Here is her coming out of school for the first time. She was exhausted but so excited!!

At dinner we had a conversation about what happened at school. We asked each kid how their day went, Caitlin talked about her fire drill etc, Alex said his new friend and him traded Pokemon cards etc, Brinley…… Well, I walked in to the classroom then found my chair and got my workbook. I did two pages in my workbook….. We got a play by play of the entire day. 20 min later. She was done. She is so my child. Talking nonstop and loving every thing about her life.

Oh gosh there is so much more going on but that will have to wait till tomorrow.


Baby Teeth and the infamous cold that sticks around forever…

I have noticed that my youngest daughter is getting 7 teeth in all at once. Why do they have to hurt so bad? I just feel awful for her, four of them are her 2 year molars as well as her 3 of her incisors. One of the incisors has already come through but the other 7 are playing a painful game of peek a boo with her.

I don’t think that I would feel so badly for her except that it is virtually impossible to get medicine down this child. She vomits when you even come near her with the medicine, even baby Tylenol and Orajel. The last couple of nights have been almost pure hell because she is in pain and can’t sleep. Last night my poor husband and I were up until almost 4 am with her, taking turns holding and cuddling her. If you know my daughter you would know that she is probably one of the most anti-cuddling children that I have ever met. She is so independent and wants so badly to be grown. (Or at least bigger than she is) So yesterday we knew that it was getting pretty bad and she had to be absolutely miserable when she was sitting on my husbands lap and she fell asleep. We tried to put her in bed but she wasn’t having that so I took my turn to hold her and she fell asleep on me for a very short while. I think that I can recall the last time that happened and it was when she was in the hospital for several days, almost a year ago.

Poor baby.

Then to top it off our oldest child is very sick as well. The only upside to having Alex sick is that he can tell me what is wrong, where it hurts and if what I am doing is making a difference where as the baby cannot. So he I believe is coming down with a sinus infection because when I pressed on his sinuses he complained of pain. In addition to that he has congestion in his chest, a cough as well as a mild fever. So he is miserable as well but at least he will take his medicine with out too much of a complaint as long as he has something to wash it down. (preferably Apple Juice 🙂

I get so frustrated when my children are sick because I feel so helpless to fix what ails them. I am sure that most parents feel this way wishing that we had a magic wand that would make it all go away. Even if I had to deal with what they are going  through instead of them. Just something.  I am afraid that I am going to get what Alex has because when he is sick all he wants to do is sit with me and cuddle or hang all over me. I am not complaining about it I just wish that I wasn’t going to get it. It just seems like the kids get sick then me and lastly my husband, but then the kids get it again and the cycle just keeps on going. I feel like I am going to go crazy sometimes when we just pass an illness around and around and around, over and over again.

It is just hard sometimes because if the kids are sick even with a runny nose you are not supposed to send them to school which is fine for us because I am a stay at home parent. But then since some of the laws have changed in Oregon if your child misses more than one or two days of school ( I believe it could be more days than that) and you don’t bring in a Dr.’s note then they can call Child Services on you. I understand the purpose of the law but who takes their child to a Dr. every single time that they catch cold? I just feel that if your kid is sick then you have the right and responsibility to keep them home and seek medical attention if it gets worse, but for a stuffy nose and a light cough seems a bit over board. So what do you do? It feels like it is a catch 22, damned if you do but damned if you don’t.

Well the baby is quiet for the moment and Alex is I believe watching a movie in his room so this seems like the perfect opportunity for a little mommy time, so I am going to be headed for the shower and bed. I hope that you have a wonderful night and a great day tomorrow.