I was driving home from picking up my daughter yesterday and I was thinking about my next blog post. I was sitting waiting for the light to turn green listening to a friend be upset about her life. While listening I realized that there are 10 truths that I have learned in my life that always seem to be true.
1) Kids will be kids.
You can get mad at them for being kids but that only punishes you. Kids yell, make messes, don’t listen and can just be straight-up obtuse. Yelling at your kids only makes you feel bad later. Try talking to your kids on their level. Not all kids respond to just talking, however for the most part they are just trying to get your attention for something. Positive or negative they will get the attention that they need. You however get to decide how you are going to deal with it.
2) Family First
Friends are awesome, and I don’t know where I would be in this life without them. That being said I have to say that my husband and kids come first. I know that it has been hard for some of my friends to accept because I am not able to go and do the things that I used to. Doesn’t mean that I don’t love and care about them like I used to. People grow up, or they are supposed to anyway.
3) Kids are expensive!!
Kids are so darned expensive. New clothes, because they hit a growth spurt, after school activities, and everything else that they need on a daily basis. My kids are currently doing Karate (doing very well at it, enjoying it, and I love every min of it as do they) I am a mother to an Orange Belt as well as a brand new littlest White Belt. Alex’s first Tournament is in Feb. STOKED!! Okay I digressed, but they are awesome and expensive little critters.
4) Everyone needs something.
Everyone needs something that makes them happy in their lives. Even if it seems trivial, everyone needs something that makes them feel complete and like an individual. For me, its working out, and getting to watch General Hospital while the kids are at school. (I know its small and seems stupid probably, but it’s great for me) My husband has his daily trips to 7/11 (Since he works from home, its the only time he gets out of the house)
5) Make time for your partner/spouse
You don’t have spend every waking moment together, but you should try to make some time for eachother. Even if it is just watching a show or movie together at least 3 times a week cuddling on the couch. I think that having a date night is important for parents and couples as well but lets face it. Not everyone can get out once a week or even once a month. (I know that we can’t) There are things that we can do to keep things going at home. Spending some quiet time together after the kids go to bed, cuddling, sex of course. However, if you want it to work, take time to at least say I love you.
6) People change after kids
So many people wonder why parents can’t just jump on a plane and go away like they used to. Others think their kidless friends are suddenly assholes and stop working on those relationships. Take the time to make a phone call, write an email, even poke them on facebook if needed. Just let them know that you are still there and want to be friends. There is always an adjustment period, after kids, after a break-up, after getting married, just about everything requires an adjustment of some sort. Be Patient with your family and friends. No one knows what you are going thru unless you tell them.
7) Be informed
I can’t stress how important being informed is. Be informed about how your kids are doing in school, how your spouse is doing at work, what is going on in the lives of your loved ones. I wish people would be more informed about things in general, but if you can’t manage to be caught up on world affairs then at the very least know what’s going on in your own home. So many things can be prevented if you just know what is going on with the people that you love.
8) Family doesn’t have to be blood
I have learned the hard way that sometimes your family won’t be blood related to you, blood does not create some bond that cannot be broken. Trust does. If you have people in your life that are toxic get rid of them in your life. You don’t need that. No one does, its not easy, feelings will get hurt. But wouldn’t you rather live a happy and fulfilled life with out that one person that always makes you feel so toxic that you could throw up?
9) Let it go……
You have to let go of your ego. Not everyone is perfect. I know that I am not. I know that I will never be perfect, but I can be a better version of me than I was yesterday. I recognize that people say and do dumb things when they are angry, frustrated, scared, or just plain upset with life. Most of the time its not about you or even what you’re actually talking about. There is something else. So when someone says something insensitive to you and you’re upset. Let some of that go. Anger and resentment, doesn’t hurt the other person. It only hurts you. Sometimes you can’t change their attitude, or their point of view but you can change how you react to it.
10) Pick your battles
If it is something that you are really passionate about then, feel free to argue your point to your hearts content, but if in the grand scheme it is something that isn’t that big of a deal, then I would say just let it go for now. Make sure that when you are calm and can rationally talk about what hurt your feelings or made you so upset then do it then. Just remember, “Never go to bed mad” you never know if tomorrow will come.