Baby Teeth and the infamous cold that sticks around forever…

I have noticed that my youngest daughter is getting 7 teeth in all at once. Why do they have to hurt so bad? I just feel awful for her, four of them are her 2 year molars as well as her 3 of her incisors. One of the incisors has already come through but the other 7 are playing a painful game of peek a boo with her.

I don’t think that I would feel so badly for her except that it is virtually impossible to get medicine down this child. She vomits when you even come near her with the medicine, even baby Tylenol and Orajel. The last couple of nights have been almost pure hell because she is in pain and can’t sleep. Last night my poor husband and I were up until almost 4 am with her, taking turns holding and cuddling her. If you know my daughter you would know that she is probably one of the most anti-cuddling children that I have ever met. She is so independent and wants so badly to be grown. (Or at least bigger than she is) So yesterday we knew that it was getting pretty bad and she had to be absolutely miserable when she was sitting on my husbands lap and she fell asleep. We tried to put her in bed but she wasn’t having that so I took my turn to hold her and she fell asleep on me for a very short while. I think that I can recall the last time that happened and it was when she was in the hospital for several days, almost a year ago.

Poor baby.

Then to top it off our oldest child is very sick as well. The only upside to having Alex sick is that he can tell me what is wrong, where it hurts and if what I am doing is making a difference where as the baby cannot. So he I believe is coming down with a sinus infection because when I pressed on his sinuses he complained of pain. In addition to that he has congestion in his chest, a cough as well as a mild fever. So he is miserable as well but at least he will take his medicine with out too much of a complaint as long as he has something to wash it down. (preferably Apple Juice 🙂

I get so frustrated when my children are sick because I feel so helpless to fix what ails them. I am sure that most parents feel this way wishing that we had a magic wand that would make it all go away. Even if I had to deal with what they are going  through instead of them. Just something.  I am afraid that I am going to get what Alex has because when he is sick all he wants to do is sit with me and cuddle or hang all over me. I am not complaining about it I just wish that I wasn’t going to get it. It just seems like the kids get sick then me and lastly my husband, but then the kids get it again and the cycle just keeps on going. I feel like I am going to go crazy sometimes when we just pass an illness around and around and around, over and over again.

It is just hard sometimes because if the kids are sick even with a runny nose you are not supposed to send them to school which is fine for us because I am a stay at home parent. But then since some of the laws have changed in Oregon if your child misses more than one or two days of school ( I believe it could be more days than that) and you don’t bring in a Dr.’s note then they can call Child Services on you. I understand the purpose of the law but who takes their child to a Dr. every single time that they catch cold? I just feel that if your kid is sick then you have the right and responsibility to keep them home and seek medical attention if it gets worse, but for a stuffy nose and a light cough seems a bit over board. So what do you do? It feels like it is a catch 22, damned if you do but damned if you don’t.

Well the baby is quiet for the moment and Alex is I believe watching a movie in his room so this seems like the perfect opportunity for a little mommy time, so I am going to be headed for the shower and bed. I hope that you have a wonderful night and a great day tomorrow.

Why, do people file false police reports?

I have a friend who’s a very different type of person. She is very sweet but sometimes has a hard time asserting herself and I feel as though people take advantage of her kind heart. Just this week someone did something to her and her family that I find to be ridiculous and pretty much unforgivable.

It started that her child went to play at her friends house down the street. She had a set time that she needed to check-in by and then to be home by. No big deal we all have those stipulations on our children, nothing new. I know that I at least had those rules when I was her age (11). So her daughter did not check in, so my friend tried to phone the house and no one answered. My friend then decided a short while later that she should go over there and bring her daughter home because of the rule breaking.

When she arrived at the house she found out the the other little girls mother sent the two 11 year old girls down to a store about 3/4 of a mile away by themselves in the dark. NOT OK!! So my friend decided to stay and chat with the mother while waiting for the girls to arrive. The girls arrived about 10 -15 min later, and my friend was instructing her daughter that she needed to come home now because she was not doing right.

Well being that she is a willful young girl she refused to go home. She is not abused and is rarely grounded for more than the day so realistically she was just giving her mother a hard time. I can’t imagine any tween or teenager that has not done the same. I know that my children have and they are much younger than this child. So the friends mother being intoxicated decided that she would tell off my friend about being such a bad mother etc. she apparently called her many, many derogatory names, and was very violent towards her child as well as my friends daughter calling her some very bad names. Things that you just wouldn’t say to another woman or adult let alone to a child.

My friend told her daughter that it was time to go home and that he father was home and if she wanted to she could go home and cuddle up with him on the couch to watch a movie or something. This little girl was crying and very upset that she had just been called the worst name you can call a woman. So they started to leave.

This other mother (the abusive one) said that she was going to call the police because an 11 year old should not be allowed to cuddle with her father. I personally think that this is ridiculous because even as a grown woman I still cuddle with my father, why is that wrong? I would hope that my children would be close enough to their father to tell them anything as well as sit together to watch a movie. Really what is the harm in that. But this mother believed that it is sexual abuse to sit with your dad on the couch, for some reason which is totally absurd.

So as my friend was walking home the other mom called the police and tried to have the father arrested. She also alleged that the child was being abused physically and mentally which is not the cast. When the police arrived they talked to my friend and daughter as well as the father, it was determined that no crime had been committed but still, how horrible would it be to have the police show up at your front door all because of something completely stupid and false.

This morning at school her daughter was still a bit shaken because she feared that her father was going to be jailed even though he was cleared, (she just didn’t understand) and the little friend that she went walking with was telling the school and all of their friends that her mother was a lesbian (untrue) and that her father was a child molester (also untrue). So when my friends child asked the other girl about it and why she would say something like that, the other little girl called her a (word that shall remain unsaid) and my friends daughter slapped her. Of course the other little girl got off scott free and my friends daughter was suspended from school for a week.

Some one please tell me where the justice is in that. I have to say that if someone called me that name I would probably have slapped her too. Now don’t get me wrong I am not condoning school violence but I think that there was a mistake there. Now I don’t believe that the suspension was necessaraly the wrong thing but I think that BOTH girls should have been in trouble.

I just want to know why people feel the need to be cop callers just because they are unhappy about something stupid. I consider this action to be along the same lines as the people who call 911 because a fast food joint got their food wrong. I just really wish that people could grow up and act their age some days. It is so pathetic that it had to come to this. It was such a minor thing in the first place that should have never been blown into a situation having the police called. I guess that people just don’t realize that the father could have been jailed and the child taken into protective custody. I am just thankful that they had kind and understanding police officers that responded to the call. Thank you Salem Police Department.

Alex, Autism and preschool

As most of you know I have an autistic son, and I recently got him in to a preschool. Very exciting. Basically where I was going with this is that I think he is doing so much better with his speech just after two weeks of school. I am amazed, they are doing such an incredible job over there. He is attending Keizer Elementary where we live, and only goes two days per week but the  difference in his talking is undeniable.

I had to fight with his doctors for just under 2 years to get him evaluated, and into a program to help him. I have a real problem with the length of time it took for his doctor to realize that I was not just some wack job and actually knew what I was talking about.  The rise in diagnosed children with Autism is on the rise for some reason in the last decade and it is alittle scary. For the longest time I blamed myself for his disability. Most of that I am sure is just guilt.

There are so many different things associated with having a child with this disorder that it is really easy to get caught up in the myths and different supposed causes, such as genetics and vaccinations. There has been no link to the vaccinations that our children receive (other than it is a required vaccine that ALL children get not just the ones that end up with autism) so I personally do not believe that could be it. But the genetics arguement is one that I am trying to understand more about because I have a brother that is moderate to severely Autistic. So I have often wondered if I should have had children knowing that I have a family history of it. (Hence the guilt) But then someone could argue that you should not have children if alcoholism runs in the family because future generations will also be prone to it.

Very confusing.

I just wish that there were more options for parents like me in my area. It is something that I will struggle with for the rest of my life probably because I at this point do not know if my son will ever be able to be a functioning adult on his own. I know that it is way too early to try and discern because he is only 3 but it is still something that I think about almost daily. It is down right depressing at times, to the point of I am unsure if I should have had other children for fear that I will be unable to devote all of the attention that I need to him. Also I have learned that it can put an enormous strain on a marriage. I think that it is really hard on my husband (and myself) that he is disabled and cannot always control his actions, demands more attention than his sister, and that he is not always the most friendly child to be around. It is so stressfull.

My list of the most stressful things at the moment……

  • The attitude
  • Not eating
  • His anger/violence towards everyone and everything
  • Not knowing how to discipline him appropriately
  • Object fascination (right now it is spoons, knives and swords)
  • Not being able to do the things that I want to do with him, or take him the places that I want him to see
  • Lack of communication with him

And there are many others that I just don’t feel like listing.

I am just a a loss of what to do at the moment. If there is someone out there that has some advice I would surely love to hear it. Anything helps or anything that helped you through would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!!!