So many things to talk about; so many changes

I have been so out of touch lately that I have not even looked at my blog in just over a year it seems like.  There have just been so many things to do and things that I have done.  It has been crazy. I guess that I never thought that life would get so crazy that I wouldn’t work on my blog. I love writing here so much, and I feel really guilty that I have been gone from here for so long.

Well lets give a family update;

Shaun, My dearest husband. He got a new job. (Well in January of 2009) It is so neat, and I couldn’t be more proud of him and the work that he is doing. The company is a very small one in Northern Washington, and he has the ability to work from home which has been a blessing. I believe that there are only 7 people in the entire company. I remember when he started that I was really apprehensive about the change from a salaried person to an hourly wage. But it has all worked out wonderfully. He is finally being appreciated in a way that makes him enjoy his work. which is something that he was missing at his previous employer. This company is a very interesting one, and they do some very unique things which is a positive. The couple that are the owners of this business are deeply religious and very sweet. I do not believe that the wife (Maryann) has a mean bone in her body and is just a wonderful person, cook and mother. I have visited there with Shaun once for a Christmas party, and it was amazing, Just the simplicity of their lives and how at peace they are amongst the chaos that is most urban lives is just amazing. I wish that I could live like that. (sometimes)

However, with this new job have come new challenges as a married couple. Shaun is working from home now in our bedroom/office, so we are together all of the time. Even though we are together so much in the same house, we don’t really see him during the day. Unless he is hungry or is running low on nerd fuel. (Mountain Dew Code Red) I have to say that I really enjoy the time that he gets to spend with me and our children. It is so neat to think that even though he works himself to brain mush some days that he gets to see our children grow and learn things just about as much as I do.  I believe that we are so very fortunate in that regard and they don’t even know it. I guess all children are that way in some aspects. I am glad that they have a dad that is so involved in their lives. If they have a problem, want some Dairy Queen in the middle of the day right around break time or just need a hug from their dad he is always available. I love it, and so do they.

Our oldest child, Alex was asking me why all daddies couldn’t stay home and work. It was a tough sell to explain that there are different jobs around the world and mommies and daddies have to do them. It is just one of those things that he doesn’t realize about. I can’t complain about the comprehension of the workforce at 5 years old though. Lol

On Friday February 5th I have Alex’s preschool conference to discuss his transition into Kindergarten. I have to say that I am kinda nervous about this transition. Since Alex is autistic there are lots of challenges that must be over come on a daily basis and I am afraid that this transition will be quite difficult for him as well as us. For anyone who lives with autism everyday change is not too fun. I am so glad that he has completed a year and a half of preschool. I think that it has created some very wonderful progress for him especially in the area of speech. I can’t believe that just over 2 years ago he had about 20 words and how he has a wonderful vocabulary. Learning new words and pronunciations each day. White is my favorite word that he says now. He was saying wipe instead of white so now when he says it he says WhiTTe, with a ton of emphasis on the T. It’s great.

Our middle child Caitlin just turned 3 a few months ago and is doing very well. She is dang near fully potty trained. (Yay 2 down 1 to go.) It is such a nice feeling not to have to purchase two sizes or types of diapers. We are still keeping her in a pull up for night time and some times during naps. But I can’t really complain. It surely makes a package of pull ups last much longer. I can’t believe some times that she is only three. She is such a well behaved child. For the most part she is very soft spoken and loves everyone as well as everything. I think about what she will become as an adult some times, she is so intelligent like her father that I hope she becomes rocket scientist or cures cancer or something of that nature. But who knows and we will be proud of her no matter what she does or accomplishes. I just hope that it will be something great.

The baby in the family Brinley, boy oh boy is she a handful. I have to say that she keeps all of us on our toes. She like her sister is very smart and she knows it. I know that she is only 22 months old but she is getting herself undressed now (even when I don’t want her to) and she can count to 10. I was in shock the first time that she did it. I do have to say that she is truly my child, very outspoken, loud gosh is she loud and stubborn. But she is also very much her father’s child. She loves him so much that there are days that I am totally jealous because it seems like I am just chopped liver with onions. But I would feel horrible if she didn’t have an incredible relationship with her father. I do know however that she can operate my iPod better and more efficiently, she can operate a computer, send text messages via cell phone, and if it wasn’t for her I would have never discovered how to turn the subtitles on my television. She just hacked the cable box and got me to where I needed to be. I couldn’t believe it. I almost wonder if she will follow in her father’s footsteps and be a developer or something related to computers. She just loves them so much.

We are now living in a beautiful home in Keizer and are out of the flats of West Salem. (thank god) So Shaun has an office/bedroom where he can get some peace while working during the day. Our back yard has a fountain and pond, and we live right with a park right behind us. It is so wonderful and peaceful here. We live on a small dead end street with wonderful neighbors. There are no wild parties, no one is obnoxious or anything. Couldn’t ask for more, especially since we have a large beautiful kitchen with massive amounts of cupboard space and counter tops. The icing on the cake for me was that we have a large bathroom with walk in closet, linen closet as well as a very large SPA TUB!!! How wonderful is that? A spa tub. This house is so perfect for us that I can’t believe that we fell into it so perfectly. The only thing is that we are renting but the owner of the home is a very neat man and has taken care of anything that has come up during our tenancy no matter how small. I love it.

Living in Keizer has been very neat especially that there is Keizer Station so close. So nice in fact that my good friend just moved in across the street. She is expecting her third child in early April so we are enjoying that we are so close and can help one another out with out having to depend on our parents and grandparents. I think that it has helped us both as mothers since we can be so honest with one another about things that are going on in our lives with out fear of judgment from anyone else. It’s nice, and I really enjoy having someone that I can depend on and relate to so close. I am starting to work on her baby shower since she is having her first boy, and her husband says that their son cannot allow her baby boy to wear pink. I suppose that is a valid argument.

Well it is after 11 pm and I should be headed to bed here shortly, so I am going to go and utilize my spa tub so have a good night, and thanks for being patient with me after such a long dead period.

Been a few days time for an update

I realize that it has been a few days since I last posted, I have just been trying to cope and doing it very poorly. My kids know that I am upset and stressed which is making them just terrors because they don’t know what is going on. My son Alex (he’s 3) keeps asking me if I am ok and what’s wrong. I could tell him but he won’t understand so I just keep saying that mommy’s sad. I don’t think he is buying it all of the time though.

My Great-Grandmother called me yesterday and needed some company so Shaun and I packed up the kids and headed over there. I hadn’t been there yet because she seemed like she had too many people there all the time telling her what to do. (My great aunts and uncles) My grandpa is coming over from Central Oregon its about a 3 -4 hour drive in the summer so I don’t know how long it will take him tomorrow with the like 12 feet of snow on the pass but he will make it I am sure. My grandma needs to see him, in fact I am going to go up there tomorrow when they are here. I only see them once or twice in a year if that and I just feel like I need to see him. My grandma is doing about as well as I am handling all of this stuff. (which is not very well by the way) I am really upset about the fact that there will not be a service for him at his request. He is to be cremated and placed at the Willamette National Cemetary and that is it. No time to mourn as a family no celebration of life nothing. I almost feel cheated in that aspect. I don’t know maybe that is the wrong way to feel but I can’t help it, it hurts.

I have cried so much over so many things the last few days I look abused. I am almost scared to go in public with my husband because it looks like he beats me. My eyes are black and blue and all swollen from crying and it looks like he just punched me once really good. He didn’t of course he would never do that he is not that type. I have been with that type and he is definitely not it. I have had people ask me before after a night of crying if I need help or if my husband is abusive. No one seems to believe that this is just how I look after I cry, so I finally started saying yeah he beat me, what can you do. It is funny to watch their reactions.

So potty training is going really well. Alex hasn’t had an accident in several days and has been wearing underroos and the whole nine yards. I am very proud of him, I think that we are almost there. I still am putting him in a diaper at night because he doesn’t wake up, but he gets up in the morning before he comes in my room to harass me goes in the bathroom takes off his diaper goes potty then comes to roust me from my warm bed. So I think that with a little more work he will have it in no time. We even did out first outing with no diaper and it went with no accidents. I am really glad that could have been messy.

I am looking forward to my dr. appointment on Wednesday. I am so anxious about the baby. I am not sure if I am just done with the pregnancy thing. That and I am excited about not seeing Dr. Jerk that told me to get fixed. Grrr I am still rather bent about that. But what can you do he was just that a jerk. I just hope that I don’t have to see him again that could totally suck. Well it would suck because I would refuse the appointment, I don’t think that I should have to be subjected to that kind of thing esp by a Dr.

Anyway that is about how it is going in my little world over here. All stress and no play at the moment.

Potty Training. HELP!!!

So my 3 year old decided that it is time for him to be getting potty trained. I am so glad on one hand but on the other hand it sucks. I can’t go anywhere or do much of anything because he won’t wear a diaper, but if I put him in underwear and pants then he had accidents because he can’t get them off in time. So basically he is running around the house in a pajama shirt and that is about it.

I think that it bothers my husband that Alex is running around the house naked all day because he thinks that it is inappropriate but I don’t know I think that since he is just kind of starting and wanting to do this on his own that I would rather have him running around naked than be cleaning up pee every where. The biggest part that is causing him problems when he is dressed I think is that he waits too long before he tries to go. Then there is the lack of communication that we have. Since he is challenged and does not speak very well or much it is hard for him to tell me that he has to go so that I can help him.

Does anyone have a suggestion for what I can do that may help? It is really hard and I don’t really know what I am doing.


There is a puddle of pee in the middle of my bed. But that is the only accident for the day and he is wearing underpants!!!! I am so glad. He is so proud of himself and is doing such a good job.